A few days ago, our freezer began to give us trouble. The Ice cream was cold, and the food was frozen, and a few days later, the ice cream was mush. We decided to have someone out to six the trouble maker.
Jim, looked through the phone book to find a repair man, and the men who responded were gruff and were not what we wanted. We called a third, and we decided to wait the weekend. Monday morning, a man appeared at our door. From the beginning, I knew this was a different person. He started talking and began sharing his own life. His coordination and skill appeared impeccable, like a person tuning a fine instrument. His skills were apparently not that of a mechanic or repair man. He was quiet and worked very meticulously, and slowly and ever so adeptly took the freezer apart looking for the issues. He began to speak and began to share about his life. He was from Georgia, and knew wondrous and horrible things about the Soviet Union. I was mesmerized by his dexterity and masterful manner of handling each thing he took apart. It was so intriguing, I could not stop watching as he masterfully took apart every single part.
Because my late husband was a doctor, and I had met many foreign immigrants who came to this country, out of escaping the horrors of their former environments, I began the conversation. This was a very mysterious individual.
We began conversing. He was very sensitive about his ability to converse in English. It appeared that he was born in Georgia, near Russia, His name is Alexander. He has a long standing history with Russia. His wife is a doctor and his daughter is a psychologist. As he spoke, he shared that his wife convinced him that he couldn’t speak English well enough. Intrigued, the conversation went on, back and forth, and it appeared that he was a surgeon, fearful of not speaking well enough to practice in the United States. He is an ob/gyn surgeon, who I am sure is frustrated as a technician. I felt sad as a professional, that this master craft man, which came from the hands of a surgeon, was stuck as a refrigerator repairman. We discussed many things, and my main question was WHY? He feels he could not speak our language well enough.
We continued to speak about many things. He became more at ease, and as our conversation continued, his brilliance came through more. He spoke quite eloquently in metaphoric sentences and language. Bottom line he was ashamed of his ability to speak in English.
Our conversation continued, and this masterful technician/doctor spoke eloquently describing his life. It was obvious that he did not talk because of shame of his ability to speak English.
He shared with me where he was from, and how he had moved around and that his family was now in the United States for l6 years. I told him, I had written a book, and he shared that he had his own book in his truck. We exchanged books. His book is in poetry, and mine is Molly and Monet. The computer has a translation AP, and I will start to exchange as I have the time. I am writing my second book..
WHAT DO I TAKE AWAY FROM THIS?
Never judge a book by its cover. (we all know this, but do not heed our knowledge)
Take time to explore with someone, if they are willing to share. What a gift, he gave to me, and what a gift of books and understanding about many things in a different culture…
My sadness is that he spent all those years learning to become an obstetrical surgeon, and he is fixing freezers.
As a psychologist, we must accept what people are, and try not to change what they do not want changed, or feel that cannot have the use of their own power…
WE TRULY SHARED EXPERIENCES, THOUGHTS, POETRY, WRITING, all because he came to fix my freezer. I still feel sad, because he his brilliant and has a brilliant mind, and is living free in our country. His greatest wish is to have grandchildren.
Lessons learned: We must be grateful for what we have in the United States and protect our rights to be educated and LIVE…………D