My late husband was shot in front of me 25 years ago.  He was a well known physician.  From the constancy and lengthy situations of trying to save his life, and stress, I developed Fibromyalgia.  I have lived with this rheumatological disease for many years.  As a psychologist, I originally helped others all over the world by writing for a British Magazine, for several years. I also ran a Fibromyalgia support group, in a hospital.  After living with this disease, which can cause major pain issues, fatigue, and other rheumatological issues, it is a discomforting disease to say the least. Adding major stress of a sick and a dying spouse, the raising of my own teen age children, as well as attempting to move on with life with my late husband constantly ill from complications from the blood received at the many operations.   For those who read this, he

succumbed to the third liver transplant several years after the original shooting,  Sickness wise, I must say that fibromyalgia, was a disease that I seemed to manage quite well.  I have written about it, including in a original Fibromyalgia Magazine.  It is a pesky disease, pain from weather changes that can exacerbate psychological problems as well. Family problems with this disease is a major issue.    The pain and the fatigue, can be overwhelming.  Good medical care is essential.  Exercise is a must.  As a professional, psychological help with any issues that you are facing on a daily basis, from children, marriage, or family issues is an essential component in coping. Water exercise, and exercise, pilates, physical therapy, are major help for pain and living more comfortably.  Walking, and remaining active is good for the psychological components that plague many women. I have done pilates for over 25 years.

As anyone who has read my blog, I fell in the bathroom, fully knowing the feeling of “going to fall.”  I fell down 3 steps in my home.  As I have discussed above, I exercise, relentlessly.  I did not pass out, but I knew something was askew.  I immediately saw 3 doctors who are friends as well as doctors who treat me.  I immediately went to the eye doctor, as something seemed wrong with my eyes.  I fell on the left side.  I had been seeing the same opthamologist for years.  I kept going back because I felt dizzy from the fall.  He changed my prescription, and gave me a generic pill for dizziness.  I had the prescription filled, and I still was not seeing correctly.  This kind doctor who I had seen for 9 years missed a serious medical eye issue which caused my fall.  I had glaucoma and my eyes were exceedingly dry.  I was chagrined to think that I had trusted someone who missed Glaucoma. He had checked my pressure in my eyes, but he did or said nothing.  This doctor is now out of practice.  He also missed four other major medical issues in my neighborhood.

I was shocked.  The fall did not knock me out, but I hit my head very hard. I was told by the optho/neurologist, that I missed the step from not seeing.  I immediately was sent to a new opthamologist, who gave me a field of vision test, which showed I had lost much of my peripheral vision on the left side that I fell.  (the obvious reason for the fall).

That was over 4 years ago, and I am left with serious consequences from that doctors mistake of poor diagnosis.


It is now the year of 2020. Things at the present in our life and others are sad, crazy, dangerous, and more. We are in the midst of a pandemic. I will get to that later. I am going to go on about the remains of the concussion. I had been loosing my sight daily, from where I have left off. The concussion was perhaps a sign, or the cause. The doctors and I will never know. The assumption must be that it was a process. I obviously had lost some sight, and that is the reason for the fall in the first place.

Now 5 + years later, I have very little vision. I have been to a total of nine physicians to diagnosis my issues. A specialist in neuroopthamology diagnosed me with glaucoma, macular degeneration. Last July, the kind doctor ran many tests, and was chagrinned that I had not been diagnosed properly, with glaucoma, and I had lost a major part of my eyesight. He then sent me out to another eye specialist in Glaucoma, from a major eye institute, (Jules Stein). A new operation in Glaucoma, was being performed by a man in California.

After many tests, and consultations, I was now scheduled for this procedure. One eye would be done at a time. One eye. due to the fall and concussion, had a small chance of loosing the lens.

On a August morning in l999, I underwent a procedure to try the glaucoma surgery, and fix the lens, which was precarious. All went well, and several weeks later, major sight was restored. But due to the lack of medical knowledge, I had lost major sight in the left eye. Later in December, the right eye was done.

New glasses, new prescriptions, many tests, fear of loosing sight completely, all were due to the concussion which, the loss of sight had caused.

I am still in progress, and perhaps always will be. I am grateful to see the flowers that bloom in my garden and the gardens of Descanso, near my house. I still have the fear of falling. To this day, my sight is not perfect, but I do have a major amount of my sight back. I also have macular degeneration. Miraculous! Grateful! Joyous! a miracle!

Now almost a year later, the other eye was done. On a February morning, the next procedure was performed. The surgery was successful, but things are not over. The process of obtaining the right sight again is months away, until the your eyes adjust. Remember this is 2020, and the world is in a pandemic. When you go to a physicians office, generally you are seen one at a time, (at least in the university system), thereby dragging things out a bit, for all of our security due to a dangerous disease, which has killed millions throughout the world, It is now August 2000, and we are still in the midst of the pandemic, worsened by political upheaval over wearing masks, and social distancing. It is now late August, and I will go back for a post visit from surgery for my eye, in late August.

Because of the Pandemic, the nation and the people are in a variety of life style for this situation of illness streaking across the world, like lightning. Doctors seen post operatively through the university systems, are seen carefully, and cautiously, one at a time, or at least that is my experience.

I am in the last throes of supposedly having the best vision that I can. From the glaucoma, I have lost almost half of my sight, missed by a opthoomologist 9 years ago, the reason for my fall in the first place.

It is many years later, and I thank God, for these wondrous men who have given me 1/2 of my sight back, and allowing me the pleasure of being able to see, read some, and enjoy my life without loosing a major life’s joy of living…….DI